Saturday, March 12, 2011


Sorry I have been neglecting my space here. Its defiantly been a roller coaster of my life lately. We thought we lost Mom on Wednesday March 9th as her blood pressure went way low and she got sepsis. But thank God she is here still fighting. So lot's of trips of going back and forth. And with the cost of gas expenses are out the window.

Especially when you are eating fast food left and right. But today I am making baked chicken wings. Yum. And I am thinking of making cupcakes afterwards.

My grandma's death anniversary was on March 3rd. I really pray that my Mom doesn't join her Mom anytime soon. But I know in the end it is not up to us of how long we live. It is out of our control. I just don't like seeing my Mom suffer. I can't believe it's only been 2 months since this all began. It seems like a lifetime ago.

 My girl turned 13 on the 7th. This past Wednesday she cried so hard and I guess my Mom was coherent to see that and she kept grabbing for her hand. So bittersweet. I took her out of school for a couple of days and we spent all day Friday with Mom. The girl and Mom had a lot of heart to heart talks. Hopefully that helped the both of them.

My Mom wants to fight. She's talking about how cancer has no right to her life. Only God has that right. How cancer has no right to make her grandkids cry. This makes me so happy to hear as the other day she had said she wished she had died on Wednesday.

My older sister called upset earlier as a doctor wanted to give it straight (which we already know) how Mom's cancer is inoperable. But we are believers and if it is God's will he will heal her and make it possible for her to be cured. That is what I have to believe in. Hope for. It's my Mom. I would like to think that her time on earth is not done with.

I will admit I started freaking out when I heard she had sepsis cause that is what my father had died of in January. But thank goodness she no longer has it and is no longer in ICU. We plan on seeing her tomorrow. My boy hasn't seen her as he was to young to see her in the ICU. Probably best he didn't as the first night we had to gown up cause they thought she might have had Cdif. All these new terms I am having to learn. I guess that is just part of the package. This new life. It will be bleak without my Mom in it. So I'm going to attempt to be positive and to believe. It's the only thing I know how to do and to be there for my Mom.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

American Idol

It's been a long time since I have watched American Idol. But I decided to watch this year's cause of that Chris guy with the financee. And yes, I got teary eyed when he got let go and was not a part of the Top 24. But anyways as I was watching the show last night I figured out who my Top 5 Boys were.

1.James Durbin-I love how he really get's into his music and how he involves the crowd. I loved how he started the beat off by clapping his hands above his head. And Judas Priest? Rock on, Dude. I also love that he may have Tourette's Syndrome but he's not letting that stop him from achieving his dreams.
2. Scotty-He's a true country boy. Who couldn't love that deep voice of his? Letters from Home-John Michael Montgemry was a song made just for him.
3.Stefano-I love his story and what he has survived so far. I have to admit Bruno Mars-Just the Way You Are is one of my favorite songs and he didn't do a bad job doing his own version. I had to giggle in how he answered Ryan when asked who he was singing that song to. Slick, very slick.
4. Jacob Lusk-I loved how excited he got when he was told he made it to the Top 24. His voice is so vibrant. You want to take the time to listen to him. Love how he'd get the high notes and how he has a soulful and gospel kind of voice. Total props to Randy for telling him he's done the best God Bless The Child on AI.
6. Casey Abrams-SEXY Casey. Awesome! Made me giggle when JLo called him that. All I could think as I watched his performance was he's great. I felt really drawn into him and his singing.

So tonight the girls sing. I haven't figured out who my favorites are just yet. But I'll be keeping my eye on the 15 year old blonde who just turned 16 who wore that pink frilly dress.

Who are your favorites so far?