Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Beach House

Thanks for the guest post by Jo Levy
My husband and I bought a beach house this time last year and we’ve already put a lot of elbow grease into it. This is the first year we’re really getting to enjoy it and we’ve been down three times already just to enjoy the sun and the ocean – it’s only a block back from the beach! We did a lot of upgrades in the house like putting in a security system and installing http://www.direct.tv/ TV, so now it feels just as much like home as our actual house. We’ve talked about what it would be like to retire down there someday but for now it’s just great to get out there in the natural surroundings and spend time with the kids. I’m really glad we got the extra bedrooms because both the kids like to bring a friend when we go down and we’ve yet to feel too crowded in the place. I love that little restaurant down the block…all in all I guess you could say it was definitely a great decision for us!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Frugal TV - The 'Value' Size Isn't Always a Value


Love Nathan. He always has a lot of good tips to share. Love his site to. WeUseCoupons.Com

The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling


One of my favorite songs. I didn't realize how much I liked Black Eyed Peas

Grief Quotes

"If there were no love there'd be no Grief." Zig Ziglar

"When you're grieving that's not the time to be brave or strong. You need to let it show." Zig Ziglar

"Knowing the Lord and knowing his comfort does not take away the ache; it supports you in the middle of the ache." Dr Larry Crabb

"Allow the Lord to comfort you." Sabrina D. Black

ABC's of Grief
A-Always be true to yourself '
B- Believe you'll make it Believe God's word
C-Remember people care. Communicate your needs.

Grief Share

My sister and I have decided to join a Grief Share group to cope with the loss of our parents. I may post out of my own personal journal every now and than.. But I wanted to share this resource for those that may be dealing with grief and need help to get thru it. It is not something that a person should do alone. No matter the circumstance. It is good to be with like minded people that may be enduring similar losses as you have. I've only done 2 weeks so far. I think it is helping me. It's helping me come to grips with it. Even if I don't like my new normal right now.
I don't dream of Mom every night like my younger sister does. My depression doesn't seem as intense as my older sister's. Guess that is why I'm the middle sister. Hee.

 I think I am still able to function.

 I just can't seem to cook for some reason and find myself eating out a lot since I have that money from my Mom's life insurance. I don't get why I can't cook. But than again I barely do the laundry or dishes.With all the busyness and chaos of these last few months I guess after Mom died it was like as if the world stopped and I didn't know what to do anymore.

 I had a really hard time finishing the school year out with the boy. I hope I didn't fail him. I had a lot on my mind and a lot to deal with in it being our first year of homeschooling. I pray, I plead that 2012 is much kinder.

 My older sister seems angier than me in circrumstances. Of how things went down in the end. But I guess every person is different in how they handle things, like such things as loss. I really am not sure what is going on with my younger sister. She's been kind of quiet. She has mentioned staying in bed when I mentioned I did that a time or two.

Sometimes, life just gets so overwhelming, you just got to hide for a little bit.

Also a part of me thinks if I stop and stay still, I'll just collapse.

I love my Mom. I can't say loved, just yet. I miss her a lot. It's so painful how badly I miss her. It's so unreal that she is gone. It is all like a bad dream that I wish I could just wake up from and laugh at it all. But no, this is my reality. This is my life, right now. We didn't have the greatest relationship. But she was a good mom to me and a GREAT grandma to the kids. I hope they never forget her.

A Prayer of Sorts

What am I afraid of? I am afraid that I will die young like my parents did. A part of me doesn't care. But than I think about how much I want to be a part of my children's lives and future grand children. And of course spend time with the husband. And do all the trips we talk about doing in the future.

I know there's no way in knowing how long you get to live. But I need to make better choices in my eating and move even when I don't want to. I did go on a couple of walks this week. So I have to give myself a pat on the back for that. But the rolo mcflurries still call my name. Especially with it being summer and warm weather.


 I use to be scared of death. But after losing my mom it doesn't frighten me like it use to. I know heaven is my eternal home. But I would like a long life here on earth.

Whatever fears I may have that I'm not aware of I hope I am able to over come them with God's help and the prayers of friends. I know I am loved by God and that he will never leave me even when I feel alone.

Grief

As it has been said grief is a unwelcome guest. It strikes at the oddest times. I notice I react to it more when it is night and I am alone with my thoughts. Probably because I am not busy and I have time to myself. When I should be sleeping or relaxing, I am thinking.

 I dwell on my Mom..

 I can't even process that I lost my Dad to. But it is like he's gone, like he always has been but now there is no chance for reconcilation. He didn't even meet my son or my husband. I have to admit that makes me mad. Everytime I tried to get him to talk to my husband he'd find a excuse to get off the phone. I don't know if he was ashamed or what.

But the one thing that my Mom did that I will never forget is she told my husband that 'your my son, your my son, don't leave me.' That was the last week of her life and right before she stopped talking. At least I know how much my Mom loved us and my family.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Blogging

I want to get back in it. I just don't know how. I was so inspired but than life kicked me in the butt. I am just now getting back into reading my blog roll etc. I had started blogging because I. Liked the thought of going to conferences. I haven't figured out what kind of blogger I am. I guess I am a anything goes kind of writer. I like having a spot where I can jot things down. Though I find I use Facebook more than anything. Especially when my mom was sick. Well because it was easier. So I guess I will keep figuring out my voice. I guess that is part of life to.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Ipad

I didn't realize how much fun it is to own one! I love it. I feel totally spoiled. If you ever get a chance to own one I highly recommend it. I never imagined myself a techi girl. But I am fast becoming one. This is just my opinion. Not being endorsed fro this. :)
I got mine in the 400's but it looks like Amazon sells them to. Neat!