As it has been said grief is a unwelcome guest. It strikes at the oddest times. I notice I react to it more when it is night and I am alone with my thoughts. Probably because I am not busy and I have time to myself. When I should be sleeping or relaxing, I am thinking.
I dwell on my Mom..
I can't even process that I lost my Dad to. But it is like he's gone, like he always has been but now there is no chance for reconcilation. He didn't even meet my son or my husband. I have to admit that makes me mad. Everytime I tried to get him to talk to my husband he'd find a excuse to get off the phone. I don't know if he was ashamed or what.
But the one thing that my Mom did that I will never forget is she told my husband that 'your my son, your my son, don't leave me.' That was the last week of her life and right before she stopped talking. At least I know how much my Mom loved us and my family.